Lifestyle

In Defense of the Selfie

A few days ago, I changed my profile picture on Facebook.
The picture was taken on a particularly marvelous hair day and I hadn’t even thought twice about it. My makeup looked great, my skin was behaving, the lighting cooperated nicely. Whatever.

So why did I feel so weird posting it?

Well, friends, for the sake of disclosure…
It was a selfie.

Now you all see where I’m coming from, right? The stigma associated with that horrible ‘S’ word has justified my insecurities.

Maybe you’re rolling your eyes, like the girl in my Sociology class who made the argument that selfies were narcissistic. Maybe you’re cheering me on for having such candor, in which case I appreciate your support, but I really don’t think this is a praise-worthy confession (because, really, nothing I’ve ever done on Facebook has largely benefited humanity). Maybe you’re on the fence about selfies and what they convey about our society at large. Maybe you haven’t analyzed it that deeply and don’t care to. Maybe you’ve stopped reading because using an entire article to discuss the selfie stigma seems superfluous to you. And maybe, you’re right.

But if you’re like me, and you enjoy feeling and looking nice, this discussion has broader implications. In my opinion, there isn’t anything superficial or narcissistic about taking pride in your appearance. In fact, confidence in how you look is important, whether we want to say so or not. So why are we ashamed of looking and feeling “pretty” and wanting to present ourselves accordingly?

Girls are taught a million horribly contradicting maxims their whole lives (through parents, the opposite sex, the media, etc.). “Be innocent, but sexy!” “Look young, but mature!”. Not to get totally ridiculous here, but if I were to conform to every one of societies suggested ‘girl’ tropes, I would be sporty, thin, intellectual, unassuming, curvy, unintimidating, sexy, powerful, muted, passive, dangerous, outspoken and easily coerced. I would actually have to simultaneously deal with multiple personalities, body types and levels of sexual experience to be the ‘perfect girl’ defined in Generation Y.

“Okay, neat. Cool feminist rant about male oppression and cultural flaws. What does this have to do with your stupid selfie problem?”

Everything, darlings. This has everything to do with the selfie problem.

If we’re always told to be all of these things, in just the right measures, how can we ever actually enjoy feeling attractive? The minute we admit to feeling aesthetically pleasing we’re being overconfident. So, whether we’re having a day when the face is our last priority, or if we’re having a Tyra Banks approved “good-god-I’m-hot” moment, we feel like we’re doing something wrong. We cannot win. This is why the selfie has long been condemned… it perpetuates the idea that women shouldn’t put any stock in their physical facade. Meanwhile, dressing down and not messing with our eyeliner renders us “uggos” who really should have considered everyone else’s impression of us when getting ready this morning.

What’s a girl to do? If it suits you, be your own photographer. Snap that mirror pic with pride, ladies.

I’ve never seen the shame in feeling good about how you look. Never has walking down the street loving my outfit made me less intelligent, less driven, more inwardly focused, or big headed. Never has strutting a little bit made me feel cheap, or like I was setting back the female empowerment movement. No amount of makeup has ended Women’s suffrage and, as far as I can tell, taking an occasional selfie certainly hasn’t lessened a ladies pay any further.

I take pride in my appearance, (most days… I mean, I’m not above occasionally leaving the house with toothpaste smeared on my face and rats nests congealing in my hair) and I don’t see why we should all be raised to fear that ‘pretty’ feeling.

Girls of every age, race, size, credo, sexuality, ambition and ‘look’ should enjoy feeling attractive the same way as men should, and celebrating this with a picture taken by yourself is a perfectly healthy way to tell the world that “I look good. I know it… and maybe I want Facebook to know it.”
So, live on, dear selfie. You give usefulness to the screen-side iPhone camera and you’re fun on a Wednesday night at 11 pm when my side-part looks inexplicably fabulous. You’ll always have a place in my camera roll.

Signed,

Abigail Thompson (Twitter @abbylt22)