Your ass would shop online.
As I write this understand, it’s Thanksgiving, I’m a bottle of champagne in and I’m still sipping cider. I have to work tomorrow, on the most sacred shopping day ever, Black Friday. I want you all to understand your need to get a deal is causing me to be to work at 6am tomorrow. I’m expected to clock in and have a smile on my face at 6am. You know what I should be doing tomorrow at 6am? Still drinking or at the very least sobering up.
Working on Black Friday is the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever experienced in my life. Retail workers are dragged away (literally!) from their families and left overs to feed the rabid need of people who don’t really like their family members and need an excuse to leave the house at midnight to go shopping for “deals”. Fuck your deals and your family issues. Don’t drag me away from my Champagne or cider. I love them both. I love leftovers and I love my dog and husband. I don’t want to be away from any of these things consecutively at any given time. Sadly the major mall I work in thinks differently.
I think you should shop online. You read that right; shop online! Don’t drag my ass out of my drunken stupor at 6am because you need a deal on pajama bottoms and poorly made t-shirts. Click a link and add that shit to your shopping cart on Amazon. Let the poor retail workers of America sleep. Bad enough their are 5 shopping weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas! That’s five weeks of holiday music by Justin Beiber on rotation! Imagine the personal hell of Justin rapping over a holiday beat. Go ahead, Google it, I’ll wait. Shopping online eliminates the need to go out into the masses where the chances of catching a cold or flu are higher. You could slip on melted snow entering a mall. You could lose your child or worse your iPhone! Dear god think of your iPhone.
Shop online. You won’t have to deal with a tired cashier or a worn out stock room person or the manager who got bitched out by his wife about the holiday shift he had to work. Because YOU the American Consumer just HAD to get a deal on those pajama bottoms and that poorly made t-shirt. I think if you asked, most retail workers would rather work a long Saturday shift than the Friday shift after Thanksgiving. We’ve had time to re-up and relax. We’ve had a chance to spend time with the family we barely get to see. We get some rest. We just want to rest, like you.
“The Shop Girl” is a 20-something East Coaster just tying to pay the bills and keep her head above water. Her extracurricular activities include: Whiskey, crushing on boys with beards who also like whiskey and all things fashion. (duh.) That photo is totally not her.